Wrong Number

I should just start this out by saying that I receive more spam texts and crazy calls than I ever did in America. Sometimes if a number comes up that I don’t recognize, in the beginning, I wouldn’t pick it up and I would just silence it. Mistake. They’ll call back over and over until you pick up. ALWAYS. Since we started teaching English in the slums I get calls from all kinds of numbers that begin with "Hallo Auntie Kayla!" The kids call several times each week, usually from different mobile phone numbers, to make sure we are coming to teach. I was expecting a call from a company called TATA of all things and knew it would be from a number I didn’t have in my phone. My phone rings and I half expected a stranger and half expected, "Hallo Auntie!" I pick it up. A lady starts rattling off something in Bangla.

“Do you speak English?” I asked in English.

“Yes.” (English). “There is an STD phone call. It’s for you. Please stay on the line.” (Hindi)

Loud music playing ensues. Who was calling me via STD (that’s standard trunk dialing, friends), I wondered? Then I got to listen to Bangla, Hindi, and English translations over and over about STD phone calls and that I needed to stay on the line. I decided I would wait two full minutes before hanging up. Finally…

Stranger: “Hallo! Askdioehfnksfndkwhireknsjdk.” (that’s all Bangla that I don’t understand)

Me: “Yes, hello. Bolo. Kaun hai?” (That means “speak” and “who is this?” respectively. It’s not rude, otherwise you will exchange hellos about 10 times).

S: “Ohhh, my name Raj Really-Long-Last-Name.” (Obviously not a phone call for me).

Me: “Do you speak English?”

S: “Oh, yes!”

Me: “Who are you trying to call?”

S: “Oh, who is this?”

Me: “No. You called me. You are wanting to talk with who?” (Sometimes it helps to phrase the questions their way).

S: “What is your name?”

M: “You called by STD. You have the wrong number. I’m hanging up now.”

S: “Wait, you do not want to talk to me?”

M, through laughter: “I don’t know you. You have the wrong number. I’m afraid the phone conversation is going to have to end now. Goodbye.”

What do people do, sit in those little booths dialing random numbers until they get a stranger who sounds interesting or wants to talk? This is definitely not the first call I’ve gotten like this. And the TATA (internet) company still hasn’t called, three days later. Such is life...here, at least.